Lately a lot of people have been leaving me comments about how they love my confidence and they wish they would smile and glam it up like I’ve been doing. This got me to thinking, I have ever shared my confidence journey with everyone? I went back into the archives and realized that no, I have not.
My plus-size journey started in college, before that I was everything from tall and skinny to tall and curvy, but not really plus-sized, when I graduated from high school I was a size 10-12. Between May 1999 and December 1999 I had two knee surgeries. Now anyone who has had knee surgeries will tell you that they 1) take forever to recover from and 2) when you have them back to back like I did, you’re basically laid up for like a year.
Fast forward seven years and two more knee surgeries later I found myself in NYC without any family or friends, which meant I found my comfort in food. When I moved to New York City I was a size 18/20 but within a year and half I managed topped out a pant size 28 (my heaviest). I was still going through the growing pains of moving and making new friends and dealing with a mega stressful job. I hid myself away in jeans, oversized tee-shirts, and scarves, basically the opposite of what I wear now.
The turning point came when I started blogging. Entertainment blogging never required me to step in front of a camera, but once I started with fashion blogging and people wanted to see me and my style, which at that point was pretty blah. It was a chance meeting of some of my now closest friends that helped me get out of my rut.
The world of fashion can be a cruel bitch if you’re any size larger than a 2 and plus-size fashion was still kept in the bargain bin basement at Macy’s but I was determined. I actually threw/donated all of my jeans and oversized wear, replacing everything with dresses, leggings, tunics and whatnot. It was a slow undertaking, but slowly I started feeling more comfortable with my new body. I also started Weight Watchers and while it is a slow struggle, I’ve slowly brought my dress size down from 26/28 to 24.
My point to telling this story is, that I love that everyone is love my confidence but never doubt yourself. It took me a good couple of years to find my inner goddess and let her out. I still have a size and weight goal but at least I’m now happy with where I am because YOLO and all.
Images: Jenna Duffy